9 Fantastic Formulas for a Stress Free Holiday!

9 Fantastic Formulas for a Stress Free Holiday!
By Julie Hunt

The holidays are officially here. And so the season for giving begins. Warm loving intentions, thoughtful giving and stocking stuffing take over.

It's a wonderful time of year, but with all the activities, excitement and family obligations taking place at the same time, it's easy to feel overwhelmed, stressed and even a tad bit gloomy. Here are 9 simple steps to relax, let go and really enjoy a truly happy holiday!

1. Reflect on what an inspiration you are to others. The time you spend, the love you give and the enthusiasm with which you do it all with is what matters most to people close to you. The beautifully wrapped presents and bows are far less important than your loving friendship. You are appreciated and cherished in the lives of so many people. Love yourself with the same appreciation.

2. Be honest with yourself and don't stuff your feelings. As you start to feel range of emotions this holiday... whether it is joy or fear... frustration or liberation...Don't push them away like last season's Prada bag. Give them a special place. It will be far easier to enjoy the holiday if you are honest with yourself and experience all the good, bad and normal parts of life. Be as accepting and generous with yourself as you are with the people in your life you care about the most.

3. Show empathy and compassion. Our internal perception is reality. Whenever you show kind hearted compassion, you'll get it back in return.

4. Be grateful for all the wonderful differences, preferences and opinions that you will encounter this holiday. Try to view life from a different perspective. Talk about differences that may come up in a loving way and make a special effort to sit on the same side of the table (literally and figuratively). See if you can find it in your heart to love and appreciate Uncle Joe's crazy quirk that normally sends you through the roof. The joy and peacefulness of understanding another's perspective while still honoring your own is a feeling to be savored!

5. Get plenty of sleep and squeeze in a few extra minutes to rest and relax. Sleep may seem like an indulgence this time of year, but it is absolutely essential to good health and a positive holiday outlook. Rest, slow-down and catch plenty of zzz's. Be decadent and treat yourself to 3 -5 minutes a day without any books, junk mail or return calls. Take time to breathe, relax, reflect and introspect. If you're feeling really sassy lie on your back and spread out in the middle of the living floor. Is 3 minutes of your day just for one month too much to ask?

6. Try letting go and see what marvels happen! Let go of one small thing that's really been getting to you. Ask yourself what is the worst that can happen? Just for kicks, reflect back on a particularly stressful holiday situation last year. How bad was it really? Did worry consume you for nothing? I'm guessing that the turnout wasn't as bad as all the images swimming in your head. And, there may have even been a hidden blessing after all. In the scheme of things, our daily worries are trivial. Try to let them go... and go with the flow!

7. Find opportunities throughout the day to bond and make a human connection. Make a conscious and loving effort to be attentive and live in the present moment. A sure fire quick way to work yourself up is to let your mind run a million miles an hour of things you could, should or would be doing. These random relentless thoughts will just make you anxious and nervous. Take the time to look into peoples' eyes; listen carefully to what they have to say and pass them a compliment about something you know is important to them. That goes for strangers too! You will enjoy your time together that much more... and so will they.

8. Change up the scenery. Rather than going through your same daily routine, shake it up a bit! Close your eyes at night before you drift off and sleepily anticipate a self indulgent wild and crazy day. Roll out of bed on the opposite side. Light a scented candle in the bathroom and watch the flame flicker in the morning light. Crank up your favorite piece of inspiring music before you do anything else in the morning. Walk backward through the house. Try tea instead of coffee. Call an old friend you haven't talked to in ages. Talk to strangers! Take the scenic route home. Wave to the stressed out folks who cut you off on the freeway. What else can you think of that could change up your scenery and shake some smiles out of you?

9. Treat yourself as you would treat others. Write yourself a love note. Buy yourself fresh stems of flowers. Soak your feet. Valet park the car. Have your groceries delivered. Send your undies to the cleaners. Snuggle with a blankie. Take a long walk. Sleep in. Watch the sunset. Sing yourself a love song. Do all the things for yourself you wish others would do for you!

Enjoy the most fabulous holiday season of all times!

julie@shesite.com
714-834-1137

Julie Hunt is a female icon and founder of SHE, the foremost inspiration and personal development resource for women who want to live brilliant, happy, successful lives. Marketing consultant, sales expert, copywriting guru, improvisational actress, yoga instructor, author and just plain cool chick� she�s an inspiration to hundreds of women.

She is on a mission to scream, skip, advise and acquaint with women around the globe who want live a vivacious life busting at the seams!

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Are You Truly Thankful For Everything?

Are You Truly Thankful For Everything?
By Kimberly Chastain

Thanksgiving is the time of year when we stop and are thankful for all our blessings. Of course, we should be thankful every day of the year. I want you to take a different look at Thanksgiving this year. You certainly can list all of your many blessings and be thankful. But, are you truly thankful for everything?

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 says: Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

Are you thankful for everything in your life? Are you thankful for your troubles, frustrations, unfulfilled expectations, you fill in the blank? I think it is easy to be thankful for the good things in our lives, but not the difficult things.

The past few years in my life have been extremely difficult. There is no need to go into all the specifics. Through the difficulties I have learned more about God's faithfulness and care for me. I have come to God as a little child and saying, "Please, take care of me." I don't have the answers. When I focus on God instead of myself I become renewed and refreshed. Now, if you had asked me several years ago did I want these particular difficulties - I would have given you a resounding, NO! I would tell you now I would not trade those difficulties for easy times, because of the precious knowledge and growth that occurred in my relationship with God. The verse that has been my stronghold is "I will never leave you nor forsake you." Hebrews 13:5. God has taught me the only sure thing in this world is his love for me and his overwhelming mercy and grace.

I would encourage you when you are going through trials and tribulations to ask God what he has to teach you through this difficult time. I know our first reaction is to just pray, "Lord, get me out of this difficulty", but I would encourage you to go one step further and say, "What do you have to show me?" How can I trust you when everything is crashing down around me?

Now, please don't hear me saying be a "happy" Christian and say Praise the Lord for whatever is happening in your life. God does not expect us to pretend. We can bring all our hurts and frustrations to him. He loves and wants to be our Abba - Father.

So, this Thanksgiving I would encourage you to take a different twist on being thankful for your blessings. Try being thankful for everything in your life, the good, the bad, and the ugly. Learn to be content in whatever circumstance you are in and ask God to show you what he wants you to learn about him and his almighty love for you. Please remember you need to do nothing to earn or keep God's love for you. He loves you just the way you are even if you don't change at all.

� 2004 Kimberly Chastain

About the Author

Kimberly M. Chastain, MS, LMFT is the Christian Working Mom Coach, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, and author of the Voices of Christian Working Moms and two ebooks. To find out more go to http://www.christianworkingmom.com For a free, initial coaching session send an email to free@kimberlychastain.com

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Create a Holiday Feast For The Senses

Create a Holiday Feast For The Senses
By Lorraine Aho

This is my daughter's first Christmas. Naomi will be nearly nine months old and eager to explore all that the holidays have to offer. Within a few weeks after conception, babies develop the sense of touch, with taste, smell, hearing and sight following in that order. At birth, babies possess all the senses they will have through their lives, just waiting for sensory experiences to learn about the world. The senses quickly become more acute, until adulthood when they are taken for granted. Each sense has its own role in helping create a magical memory, whether you are celebrating Solstice, Diwali, St. Lucia Day, Hanukkah, Christmas, First Night, or Festivus. This year, experience the holidays as a child again. Even if this isn't your first Christmas, you can make it joyful and loving by using all your senses.

· SEEING IS BELIEVING

Sight is the least developed sense at birth, but one we use daily without much appreciation. A thousand years ago, St. Francis of Assisi tried to explain the first Christmas to folks who didn't speak his language. The natural solution to overcome this barrier was to tell the story with images. Church crèches had become overly bejeweled and expensive, but Francis wanted to tell the poor about the humble beginnings of the Christ Child. And so the first live nativity was created, complete with donkey and stable, to get the point across that God's love is not reserved for the wealthy. You can use your sense of sight for a joyful holiday by attending a live performance at a local theater or driving around to find the best neighborhood light displays. Bundle up and walk outside on a wintry night to find the Star of Bethlehem shining. Decorate with bright colors and shiny ornaments. Sense the anticipation of the season with candles being lit one by one. Read children's classic stories such as The Polar Express, The Gift of the Magi, or How the Grinch Stole Christmas. And, don't get SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder)- invest in some good full spectrum light bulbs to combat the winter blahs.

· HEAR THE WONDER

Sleigh bells ringing, snow crunching, reindeer munching; of all the cheerful holiday sounds, these are not the ones I remember most. It is the music of Christmas that I carry with me all year. Make your ears an active participant in the holidays this year by attending a local concert or sing-you-own Messiah. Play holiday CDs at home
(or work if you dare) and sing along as loud as you can. For an instant make-your-spirits-bright, eat your lunch at a neighborhood playground and listen to children's laughter.

· SMELL THE MAGIC

When smelling an odor, you do not think, you react. The sense of smell is linked to the part of our brain that controls our emotions, breathing and heartrate and holds the longest lasting memories. It is estimated that smell is 10,000 times more sensitive than other senses. Do you remember the comforting aroma of sugar cookies baking or coffee brewing in your mom's kitchen? This Christmas, breathe in the fresh scent of evergreen wreaths, the spicy fragrance of gingerbread or the bouquet of juicy tangerines (a favorite stocking stuffer). To scent your home, make your own holiday potpourri on the stove by simply gently simmering orange slices and cinnamon sticks in a saucepot of water.

· TASTE THE JOY

Turn on the oven...turn up the joyaliciousness. Take comfort in holiday traditions by keeping a tried and true family recipe, or blaze new trails and create one of your own. Do you want to honor a cultural heritage or celebrate a different holiday this year? Try a new recipe and whip up some blinis, stuffed grape leaves, tamales, latkes, babaganoush, pad thai, or some Joululimppa. Indulge in a creamy chocolate truffle, some crunchy peppermint candy canes, or my favorite, salty Chex Party Mix. Use all your taste buds - salty, sour, sweet, bitter. Low carb? Who cares! Stop obsessing and celebrate.

· FEEL THE LOVE

Touch is the first sensation to develop in the womb and the last we lose. This Christmas, reach out and touch someone with a hug. Hugs are one size fits all, they're returnable, everybody needs one, and they're free. Don't be stingy with hugs, give them and receive them and give them again. Hugs are the only gift you can "re-gift" without regret. After all, this is the season of love, and what better way to show it than with hugs and some kisses thrown in for good measure. We are God's arms and legs, so use them. Volunteer at a nursing home or hospital and hold the hand of someone in need. On December 26th, when Christmas is over, and all the senses explored, I want my daughter to know the real meaning. I want her to remember the hugs and know that the joy comes from the love.

Copyright 2004

Lorraine Aho is the founder of SacredHome.com ®…for the art and soul of your home. She lives in Sonoma, California with her husband, baby daughter and two cats. To learn other tips for creating a sacred holiday, visit [http://www.sacredhome.com]

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I Just Love It!

I Just Love It!
By Kristin Johnson

"I Just Love It!"

You know the scenario. You're sitting at the family Christmas gathering and your ten-year-old opens one of Aunt Martha's itchy homemade sweaters. Or Uncle Bobby, who's been swearing to lose twenty pounds for years, opens an exercise cycle. Of course, if Uncle Bobby follows the politeness rule, he'll say, "Thank you, it's just what I wanted." (Then he'll conveniently "forget" about it in the basement or storage closet.) your ten-year-old
may not be as skilled at pretending as Uncle Bobby, but kids know enough to know that any answer other than "Thank you, Aunt Martha, I love it" will raise the roof.

There's nothing wrong with pretending you like a gift that someone has consciously bought because they think it suits you, you'll like it, or it will be good for you. The saying "It's the thought that counts" is a truism. Unless you habitually don't put much thought into your gifts. Have you stopped to look at other people's faces when they open your gifts?

The excuse "I'm too busy" only goes so far, and your children know it. If you can take time out of your week to exercise (or not, in Uncle Bobby's case, and who knows, Uncle Bobby might have a physical reason for not losing those twenty pounds), rent a video, go jogging, go to the movies, you can put some thought into the gifts beyond recycling last year's "I love it" items or heading to the mall.

It's important to let kids know that regardless of the gift, sometimes politeness above and beyond the call of duty is required. However, you personally can create more honesty from your kids and with your kids when it comes to gifts.

Remember when your ten-year-old made you a clay ashtray? You don't smoke, but you cherish that homemade gift. Or how about when your parents hung your macaroni ornaments on the tree and your pictures of Santa on the fireplace? You genuinely said "I love it" and meant it. Your children could tell. Your parents were sincere with you.

You are what you give, how you give it, and how you receive gifts. It's easy to moan that the true meaning of Christmas has been lost for our children. It's harder to turn away from the traditional gift-giving grudge.

Some tips:

* Start making homemade gifts of your own. Gifts of food, especially Christmas cookies, are always in season, and people genuinely love cookies.

* Start a Christmas cookie party or recipe swap with your family and friends. Get everyone involved. (Be sure to make some healthy alternatives for Uncle Bobby.)

* Make a donation in someone's name, say to a breast cancer organization, a hospital, a homeless shelter, a nursing home.

* Be honest about what you can spend. Be creative. Perhaps if you can't buy everyone a nice gift, you can take friends out for a pre-Christmas dinner instead of everyone frantically buying gifts.

* How many times have you said, "Oh, I don't want anything, I'll love whatever you give me?" Kids are great at making requests. Take a lesson from them. It's dishonest to expect others to read your mind and then be disappointed about the gifts you receive.

* Encourage others to be honest about what they want. Even if you can't afford it you can ask for some wish list items, or say that you make most of your Christmas presents.

* Always let your children know you love them regardless of any gifts that are exchanged.

Above all, remember that the first gift of Christmas is love, and that's something no one can fake.

Kristin Johnson is co-author of the “enthusiastically recommended” Midwest Book Review pick, Christmas Cookies Are For Giving: Stories, Recipes and Tips for Making Heartwarming Gifts (ISBN: 0-9723473-9-9). A downloadablemedia kit is available at our Web site, [http://www.christmascookiesareforgiving.com], or e-mail the publisher (info@tyrpublishing.com) to receive a printed media kit and sample copy of the book. More articles available at [http://www.bakingchristmascookies.com]

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Visions of Sugar Plums and Holiday Safety!

Visions of Sugar Plums and Holiday Safety!
By Wallace Conway

Ho, Ho, Ho, Holiday greetings to you!

Every year at this time I can't help but notice the beautiful holiday lighting and adornment. It's great to see that even homes with a "For Sale" sign on the front lawn have been bedazzled with lights! But this good deed seldom goes without also decking the halls with many holiday hazards.

You may be feeling happy for the holidays, but you'll be roasting more than chestnuts if you lose respect for the dangers inherent in the season! It is sad to say, but more homes burn during December than any other month. And electricity is not the only hazard contributing to the risk.

Candles! Gosh they look so good and the scent can set the perfect holiday mood. But always remember this about candles - they are on fire! Seasonal candles on windowsills near your beautiful curtains and shears is a perfect blend for combustion. Please be sure candles are always attended when lighted, shielded by a glass enclosure, and located so the cat doesn't knock them over. And put out all candles before snuggling in for the night!

And what about space heaters! These little gems can put just the right amount of heat right where you need it. But, they can also burn the house down. Space heaters need to be in a clear space! That might even be why they call them "space" heaters, cause if they are too close to bedding, curtains, or clothing there is a fair chance of fire. Many a home has burned even with the heater in clear space. Please be careful about flinging a towel, shirt, or sheet as you climb under the covers. Any article landing on the heater is certain to burn.

While we are thinking about space heaters, be especially cautious about the misuse of kerosene-fired space heaters. These babies can really put out the heat! But please, read the directions and follow them like your life depended on it. Of special concern is ventilation. If your space heater's directions require outside air for ventilation, crack a window or what ever it takes to be compliant. The risk of death from carbon monoxide poisoning is far greater than fire. Carbon monoxide is colorless and odorless ensuring a sound sleep for all eternity.

Gotta love stockings hung by the fire - but gotta also be sure they are removed before the fire is a blazing! Maybe back in the day when wool stockings hung by the fire, it was not so risky, but these days those fuzzy fake flannel stockings burn better than fat lighter. So choose your effect - either stockings hung by the fireplace, or a fire in the fireplace, but certainly not both at the same time!

For some strange reason, otherwise sane and contentious homeowners decide to do their most creative electrical lighting, decorating, and wiring this time of year. Some of the more festive observations have been:

- Twelve indoor extension cords lying in a garden fountain

- Eleven lighted candles each behind a curtain

- Ten cracked cords in a single outlet

- Nine rocking reindeer sparking on a rooftop

- Eight unattended potpourri pots a bubbling and a boiling

- Seven realtors cell phones charging near a wet counter

- Six spliced wires wrapped with duct tape

- Five frosty snowmen hanging by frayed wires

- Four flood lights on a single broken fixture

- Three space heaters blowing on a Christmas tree

- Two light bulbs covered with red plastic bags

- One extension cord draped over a chimney while the fire's a blazing

Okay, I confess! I took some liberties in putting this list together. But keep in mind that electrical hazards know no season! Our friends at the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSO) estimate that about 4,000 injuries associated with electric extension cords are treated in hospital emergency rooms each year. They also estimate that each year, about 3,300 residential fires originate in extension cords, killing 50 people and injuring about 270 others. The most frequent causes of such fires are short circuits, overloading, damage, and/or misuse of extension cords.

The real point is, be it in our own homes, homes we visit, or homes we list, keep an eye out for the hazards that need to be addressed. Lives depend on it. Plus, if one of your property listings burn to the ground, it makes for some very difficult disclosures!

Be safe and enjoy the holidays!

Wally Conway is President of Florida HomePro Inspections, and has been featured regularly on HGTV's "House Detective". Wally has recently written a book entitled "Secrets of the Happy Home Inspector", available at GoHomePro.com or Amazon.com. As a speaker, writer, instructor, and host of The Happy Home Inspector radio show every Saturday at 3 PM on WOKV 690, Wally blends the right amount of up-to-date information with just the right amount of humor, insight, motivation, and real-world application. Visit WallyConway.com for more information!

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'Tis The Season For Love - and Stress!

'Tis The Season For Love - and Stress!
By Lorna Minewiser

The holidays are upon us and for many people this is the most stressful time of year. There is so much to do and not enough time to do it in, places to go, people to see, gifts to buy, food to prepare, and on and on and on. We may feel overwhelmed, frustrated, exhausted, and angry, rather than joyful, loving and peaceful. Greeting cards proclaim wishes of peace, joy, happiness, and love regardless of the event being celebrated. They talk of families gathering, warm homes filled with love and peace, but for many, those wishes do not translate into reality.

Our memories of wonderful holidays from our childhood and our expectations for this year may put an enormous amount of pressure on us. There are traditions to be followed and expectations to be met, those of others and those we put on ourselves, along with the commercialism that has the stores full of holiday decorations and "gifts" even before the Halloween candy has been put away. Some people will struggle through much of next year to pay off the credit card debt that they accumulate over the holidays. But saddest of all, is when the holiday is over and we think to ourselves "Is that all there is?" "Where was the joy, the peace, the love?" "Why does it seem as though it never measures up to our expectations?"

The answer is "our expectations." One of the ways to reduce holiday stress is to take some time to examine your expectations for the upcoming months. What traditions have to be followed? What have you always done, because it is always done? Make a list, ask those who celebrate with you to make a list as well. Carve out some time to sit down and share your lists and discuss which of these traditions are really important to all of you and which are more work than you want to do. Get everyone involved in doing the things that may have been up to you. Discuss ways in which you can create new traditions or recreate old ones that will bring more peace, joy and love to your family, not only during the holidays. I recently read an interesting book by Gary Chapman called The Five Love Languages: How to express heartfelt commitment to your mate.

Although it's primarily for couples, I think that the premise applies to everyone that we love. The author says that there are 5 basic ways in which we experience feeling loved. We tend to show others we love them in the same way we feel loved. The problems arise when our "love language" is different. The five languages, in random order, are "acts of service" "physical touch" "words of affirmation" "receiving gifts" and "quality time". If, for the holidays, you show your love for someone by "giving them a gift" and their love language is "acts of service" which means that they feel loved when you do something for them, there is a good chance that neither of you will feel that your expectations have been met.

Perhaps, when your family gets together to discuss traditions and expectations for the holidays, you could discuss what would help you feel closer as a family, more loved, more joyful, and how this could create more peace. This can be a season for joy, peace, happiness, and most of all for love.

Lorna Minewiser, Ph.D has been helping people reduce their stress for more than 15 years. She offers individual and group coaching, workshops, CDs, e-books and Stress Reduction and Relaxation kits. She is available for presentations on the power of beliefs and on Stress Reduction. Her popular e-course on Reducing Holiday Stress is available free at http://www.thestressreductioncoach.com

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Holiday Tips For Stepfamilies

Holiday Tips For Stepfamilies
By Lisa Cohn

Holiday Tips For Stepfamilies: Let Go Of The "Brady Bunch"
Fantasy!

When my co-author--Bill Merkel Ph.D.--and I first formed our stepfamily, I had many fantasies about how our family would behave like the "Brady Bunch" over the holidays-- a happy, harmonious, singing-and-dancing unit. Then reality struck, and we couldn't even agree on how to decorate the Christmas tree!

Ultimately, we created a "his" side-with multi-colored, blinking lights and tinsel--and a "hers" side-with hand-painted eggs and popcorn strings. Seven years later, I can tell you that trying to create a "Brady Bunch" holiday sets stepfamilies up for failure. Instead, I suggest you follow these tips:

1. Examine and try to let go of your "Brady Bunch" fantasies.

2. Continue "old" holiday traditions with your biological kids
while creating new ones for the stepfamily.

3. If the kids don't buy into your fantasy holiday, try to see

the world from their point of view.

4. Practice the fine art of silence when your stepfamily is stressed by the holidays. You don't have to share
all your negative feelings.

5. Don't compete with your children's "other" parents by showering kids with expensive gifts.

6. Stepmoms, reach out to your stepkids' mother. Buy her a gift.
Tell her you appreciate her children.

7. Don't fight with ex-spouses about how much time you will

spend with children over the holidays. It only hurts the children

8. Invite your ex-spouses over for a holiday party. Brace for
surprises.

9. Join a stepparent support group to share the many feelings about "family" that come up during the holiday season.

Lisa Cohn is co-author of "One Family, Two Family, New Family: Stories And Advice For Stepfamilies," a 2004 Gold National Parenting Publications Award winner. For more information, visit http://www.stepfamilyadvice.com. Email her at cohnmerk@comcast.net

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Nicely Designed Pillows As Gifts

Nicely Designed Pillows As Gifts
By Glenn Prialde

Many of us are probably squeezing out our brains to the limit just for a single purpose, to think of what to give especially when it’s Christmas or just a simple birthday present. It’s always nice to give the jewelries, toys, clothes and shoes as we all had been used to of what to give. But haven’t you realized that there is something much cheaper and more fantastic than clothes or jewelries? Yes, and those are pillows.

Pillows can oftentimes express our sweetness and our tender loving care to someone we give them to. The feeling of sweetness just pops-up when we receive pillow gifts. There are a lot of pillow designs but the ones that best fit as a gift are the ones that are nicely designed and cute. A design with Disney characters would be nice just like a design with Finding Nemo characters and a design with our all time favorite superheroes like batman, superman, incredibles!

They are not just for kids they are for adults too. Sweethearts, for example has a lot of moments to share by just seeing the gifted pillow. The expression of “This was the pillow you gave me on my birthday, I liked it so much so sweet” just goes out in the mouth.

So when choosing the gifts for seasons like Christmas try to include pillows in your list.

Try this site for example [http://dakki.isnare.com] you will surely see the pillow your child, sweetheart, and love ones wanted.

Glenn Prialde is the owner of [http://shop.isnare.com] and the founder of iSnare - http://www.isnare.com.

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A Resolution Worth Keeping

A Resolution Worth Keeping
By Deborah Martin

New Years Resolutions: Making them is a tradition -keeping of them is usually optional. That's unfortunate, because some of the pledges we make in those moments before the calendar changes are wonderful things to aspire to - spending more time with our children, exercising regularly, stopping a bad habit like smoking - or considering chocolate one of the main food groups. Yet, this is the one time of the year that it's condoned - almost expected - that we don't follow through on our promises.

But what if we did follow through? What if we could make a resolution that changed our lives for the better? What if we made a tiny adjustment in our perspective and it allowed us to be happier, feel freer, and enjoy a more mindful existence?

Well, get ready to make a commitment - it's as easy as embracing the idea of simplicity. Yes, simplicity.

The start of the New Year is the perfect time to make some changes. Resolve to get back to basics. I'm not advocating a cabin in the woods with no heat or electricity, just a small step to the left of the consumer frenzy. Where do you start? Right at home in your own headspace - by making a conscious decision that your time and daily experiences are more important than money and stuff.

Reduce your clutter: Unless you use it regularly, or it holds a high degree of sentimental value, it should go. Choose a charity and schedule a pick up. Just think of how much easier your house will be to clean, and how much easier it will be to find things once you've thinned out your belongings.

Decrease distractions: Cell phones, voice mail, two-way walkie-talkies, online instant messenger, and palm pilots are all tools created for convenience. Left unchecked, however, they can start running your life. Be sure your not becoming a slave to advanced technology. Oh, and turn off that darn TV too.

Learn to say "no": This tiny two-letter word is your best defense against becoming overextended. Start using it - no one will think any less of you if you do.

Learn to say "yes" when others offer help: Stop with the Superwoman fallacy. There is no harm in accepting help when offered, or even in asking for it when needed. In fact, most people are happy to be of assistance.

Cut down on compulsive buying: Shopping has become a sport in this country and credit card debt is hitting an all time high. Before you break out your plastic to get that new Prada handbag ask yourself - do I really need this? Will this improve my life? Is this "thing" worth the time I will have to put in working in order to pay for it? If the answer is no then don't buy it.

Relinquish some control: You can't speed up the driver in front of you, make the check out line at the supermarket move more efficiently, or govern the happiness of others. Just let it go. Take some deep breathes in traffic, practice your Kegel Exercise while waiting at the grocery store, and lead your life with integrity. Don't carry the weight of the world on your shoulders - it's too heavy.

Reduce decisions: While having a choice is a good thing, too many options can be overwhelming. Whether you are contemplation a major purchase, or deciding what to cook for dinner, limit your self to two options. Choose one, then be happy with your decision - second guessing never helped anyone.

Enjoy the little things in life: Read a book, take a walk, have a bubble-bath, start a snowball fight with your kids, eat together as a family at the kitchen table, garden, snuggle, pursue a hobby, listen to music, write a letter, meditate, and follow your passions. Partake in everyday pleasures - all the things that don't entail shopping, spending, or crowds - and spend quality time with the ones you love.

Living simply is not about depravation; it's about living well. Our lives are complicated, in part, because we make them that way. Resolve to make 2005 the year of simplicity, and greet the coming months with a relaxed and peaceful spirit.

Deborah Martin is a Chicago born writer, life coach, and motivational speaker. She is Co-Founder of The Woman Project. Deborah holds a master's degree in psychology and is a licensed professional counselor. She is a certified teleclass leader and offers teleclasses and workshops on a variety of subjects. Her new e-book, How To Keep Your Kids Off Drugs: A Parent's Guide, will be available in January. For more information please visit her website at http://www.dreamlearncreate.com.

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Traditional VS. Modern Anniversary Gifts

Traditional VS. Modern Anniversary Gifts
By Slade Hartwell

Most people are familiar with the traditional materials list that good etiquette requires us use as a guide when selecting a gift to commemorate a wedding anniversary. If you are like most people, you might find it a bit challenging to convert the materials on the list into an acceptable gift idea. There may be more choices available to you than you realize. Do you know that an updated "modern" gift list is available which is becoming more and more popular? This article touches on the history of the traditional list, highlights the differences between the modern and traditional lists, and helps you decide which is right for you.

Parts of the traditional list have existed since medieval times. Historians can trace the origins of silver and golden anniversaries to medieval Germany, where garlands made of these metals were presented as gifts for the 25th and 50th years of marriage. The rest of the list may not be as traditional as you think. I was surprised to learn that the traditional list, as we know it today, did not exist until 1937. In that year, the American National Retail Jeweler Association published a list, which associated a material for each Anniversary up to the 15th year and then each fifth year after that up to the 60th Anniversary. The following is the materials list from 1937, through the 60th year:

* First - Paper

* Second - Cotton

* Third - Leather

* Fourth - Fruit/Flowers

* Fifth - Wood

* Sixth - Candy/Iron

* Seventh - Wool/Copper

* Eighth - Bronze/Pottery

* Ninth - Pottery/Willow

* Tenth - Tin/Aluminum

* Eleventh - Steel

* Twelfth - Silk/Linen

* Thirteenth - Lace

* Fourteenth - Ivory

* Fifteenth - Crystal

* Twentieth - China

* Twenty-Fifth - Silver

* Thirtieth - Pearl

* Thirty-Fifth - Coral

* Fortieth - Ruby

* Forty-Fifth - Sapphire

* Fiftieth - Gold

* Fifty-fifth - Emerald

* Sixtieth - Diamond

The modern anniversary materials list presents us with a contemporary, easier to use alternative. The modern list has no clear beginning, but like the original, each year's gift is more precious than the last. This arrangement is intended to honor the longevity of the commitment. The new list retains the spirit of the traditional list, but loses the some of the sense of etiquette in the original. Although more convenient, the modern list sacrifices the thoughtfulness previously required to make a good gift from the more mundane materials on the old list. However, the modern list is more extravagant (expensive) than the original, which in some cases may be more appreciated than a thoughtful but humble gift from the traditional list. The following is the widely accepted modern list, through the 60th year:

* First - Clocks

* Second - China

* Third - Crystal/ Glass

* Fourth - Appliances

* Fifth - Silverware

* Sixth - Candy/Iron

* Seventh - Desk Sets

* Eighth - Bronze/Pottery

* Ninth - Linen/Lace

* Tenth - Leather

* Eleventh - Jewelry

* Twelfth - Pearls

* Thirteenth - Textiles/Furs

* Fourteenth - Gold Jewelry

* Fifteenth - Watches

* Twentieth - Platinum

* Twenty-Fifth - Silver

* Thirtieth - Diamond

* Thirty-Fifth - Jade

* Fortieth - Ruby

* Forty-Fifth - Sapphire

* Fiftieth - Gold

* Fifty-fifth - Emerald

* Sixtieth - Diamond Jubilee

For most couples, I recommend using the modern list. When selecting a gift from the modern list you have the benefit of more specificity, for example a desk set is much more clear than copper/wool. With the modern list, you won't risk insulting your spouse by rewarding 10 years of companionship with a pitiful tin or aluminum gift. Believe me, she won't be satisfied with the excuse of tradition. Also, good luck finding the ivory candlesticks for year 14! Unless you really enjoy the creative challenge of using the traditional list, try the modern list this year.

Slade Hartwell, Webmaster at [http://www.ezromantic.com/]

Romance Relationship Advice: [http://www.ezromantic.com/home.html] We offer tons of romance and relationship help such as: great articles, advice, love poems, book reviews, gift ideas, romantic travel guides, a relationships forum, and more.

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The History And Origin Of Valentine's Day

The History And Origin Of Valentine's Day
By Tony Luck

The oldest Valentine card still in existence was sent in 1415 by Charles Duke of Orleans, at the time a prisoner in the Tower of London, to his wife. The Duke's Valentine's card is now preserved and displayed in the British Museum.

However, the origins of Valentine's Day lie in ancient Rome. Over the years the ever expanding Roman empire became more difficult to police and there was an increasing shortage of soldiers. Believing that married men were too attached to their families and unlikely to sign up for active service, Emperor Claudius II banned marriage, thinking this would increase the number of quality recruits.

The story goes that a Christian priest by the name of Valentine, seeing the unhappiness and trauma that resulted, secretly married couples in defiance of the new law.

It wasn't long before Emperor Claudius found out about Valentine's actions and the priest was imprisoned and eventually executed on February 14, 270.

Whilst in prison, Valentine was befriended by his jailer, a character called Asterius. Asterius had a blind daughter and the jailer asked Valentine to cure her, which he supposedly did. Shortly before his execution, Valentine asked for writing implements and signed a farewell message to the jailer's daughter "From your Valentine", a phrase that has lived on, much to the delight of modern day florists, rose growers and card companies!

Author: Tony Luck runs a personalized gifts [http://www.personalised-gifts.net] site that specializes, among other things, in personalized ceramics - greeting cards, commemorative plates and tankards.

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Top 50 Christmas Quotations

Top 50 Christmas Quotations
By Danielle Hollister

1. "Let us remember that the Christmas heart is a giving heart, a wide open heart that thinks of others first. The birth of the baby Jesus stands as the most significant event in all history, because it has meant the pouring into a sick world of the healing medicine of love which has transformed all manner of hearts for almost two thousand years... Underneath all the bulging bundles is this beating Christmas heart." -- George Matthew Adams
2. "The rooms were very still while the pages were softly turned and the winter sunshine crept in to touch the bright heads and serious faces with a Christmas greeting." -- Louisa May Alcott
3. "Christmas Eve was a night of song that wrapped itself about you like a shawl. But it warmed more than your body. It warmed your heart... filled it, too, with a melody that would last forever." -- Bess Streeter Aldrich
4. " The perfect Christmas tree? All Christmas trees are perfect!" -- Charles N. Barnard
5. "Gifts of time and love are surely the basic ingredients of a truly merry Christmas." -- Peg Bracken
6. "The earth has grown old with its burden of care But at Christmas it always is young, The heart of the jewel burns lustrous and fair And its soul full of music breaks the air, When the song of angels is sung." -- Phillips Brooks
7. "I am not alone at all, I thought. I was never alone at all. And that, of course, is the message of Christmas. We are never aone. Not when the night is darkest, the wind coldest, the word seemingly most indifferent. For this is still the time God chooses." -- Taylor Caldwell
8. "Remember, if Christmas isn't found in your heart, you won't find it under a tree." -- Charlotte Carpenter
9. "Christmas is not a time nor a season, but a state of mind. To cherish peace and goodwill, to be plenteous in mercy, is to have the real spirit of Christmas." -- Calvin Coolidge
10. "Christmas, in its final essence, is for grown people who have forgotten what children know. Christmas is for whoever is old enough to have denied the unquenchable spirit of man." -- Margaret Cousins
11. "Unless we make Christmas an occasion to share our blessings, all the snow in Alaska won't make it 'white'." -- Bing Crosby
12. "Whatever else be lost among the years, Let us keep Christmas still a shining thing: Whatever doubts assail us, or what fears, Let us hold close one day, remembering Its poignant meaning for the hearts of men. Let us get back our childlike faith again." -- Grace Noll Crowell
13. "It is the personal thoughtfulness, the warm human awareness, the reaching out of the self to one's fellow man that makes giving worthy of the Christmas spirit." -- Isabel Currier
14. "Something about an old-fashioned Christmas is hard to forget." -- Hugh Downs
15. "They err who thinks Santa Claus comes down through the chimney; he really enters through the heart." -- Mrs. Paul M. Ell
16. "Christmas, my child, is love in action." -- Dale Evans
17. "Do give books - religious or otherwise - for Christmas. They're never fattening, seldom sinful, and permanently personal." -- Lenore Hershey
18. "My first copies of Treasure Island and Huckleberry Finn still have some blue-spruce needles scattered in the pages. They smell of Christmas still." -- Charlton Heston
19. "At Christmas, all roads lead home." -- Marjorie Holmes
20. "My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?" -- Bob Hope
21. "The joy of brightening other lives, bearing each others' burdens, easing other's loads and supplanting empty hearts and lives with generous gifts becomes for us the magic of Christmas." -- W. C. Jones
22. "A Christmas candle is a lovely thing; It makes no noise at all, But softly gives itself away; While quite unselfish, it grows small." -- Eva K. Logue
23. "Were I a philosopher, I should write a philosophy of toys, showing that nothing else in life need to be taken seriously, and that Christmas Day in the company of children is one of the few occasions on which men become entirely alive." -- Robert Lynd
24. "Blessed is the season which engages the whole world in a conspiracy of love." -- Hamilton Wright Mabi
25. "The merry family gatherings-- The old, the very young; The strangely lovely way they Harmonize in carols sung. For Christmas is tradition time-- Traditions that recall The precious memories down the years, The sameness of them all." -- Helen Lowrie Marshall
26. "There is no ideal Christmas; only the one Christmas you decide to make as a reflection of your values, desires, affections, traditions." -- Bill McKibben
27. "I wish we could put up some of the Christmas spirit in jars and open a jar of it every month." -- Harlan Miller
28. "Christmas is the keeping-place for memories of our innocence." -- Joan Mills
29. "Christmas is, of course, the time to be home - in heart as well as body." -- Garry Moore
30. "What is Christmas? It is tenderness for the past, courage for the present, hope for the future. It is a fervent wish that every cup may overflow with blessings rich and eternal, and that every path may lead to peace." -- Agnes M. Pharo
31. "Mankind is a great, an immense family... This is proved by what we feel in our hearts at Christmas." -- Pope John XXIII
32. "One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day. Don't clean it up too quickly." -- Andy Rooney
33. "Christmas--that magic blanket that wraps itself about us, that something so intangible that it is like a fragrance. It may weave a spell of nostalgia. Christmas may be a day of feasting, or of prayer, but always it will be a day of remembrance--a day in which we think of everything we have ever loved." -- Augusta E. Rundel
34. "Christmas is doing a little something extra for someone." -- Charles Schulz
35. "As long as we know in our hearts what Christmas ought to be, Christmas is." -- Eric Sevareid
36. "Christmas is the day that holds time together." -- Alexander Smith
37. "Christmas renews our youth by stirring our wonder. The capacity for wonder has been called our most pregnant human faculty, for in it are born our art, our science, our religion." -- Ralph Sockman
38. "Christmas ... is not an eternal event at all, but a piece of one's home that one carries in one's heart." -- Freya Stark
39. "Christmas is a day of meaning and traditions, a special day spent in the warm circle of family and friends." -- Margaret Thatcher
40. "At Christmas play and make good cheer, For Christmas comes but once a year." -- Thomas Tusser
41. "What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic." -- Unknown
42. "Perhaps the best Yuletide decoration is being wreathed in smiles." -- Unknown
43. "If there is no joyous way to give a festive gift, give love away." -- Unknown
44. "Until one feels the spirit of Christmas, there is no Christmas. All else is outward display--so much tinsel and decorations. For it isn't the holly, it isn't the snow. It isn't the tree not the firelight's glow. It's the warmth that comes to the hearts of men when the Christmas spirit returns again." -- Unknown
45. "Many banks have a new kind of Christmas club in operation. The new club helps you save money to pay for last year's gifts." -- Unknown
46. "Are you willing to believe that love is the strongest thing in the world - stronger than hate, stronger than evil, stronger than death - and that the blessed life which began in Bethlehem nineteen hundred years ago is the image and brightness of the Eternal Love? Then you can keep Christmas." -- Henry Van Dyke
47. "Christmas is for children. But it is for grownups too. Even if it is a headache, a chore, and nightmare, it is a period of necessary defrosting of chill and hide-bound hearts." -- Lenora Mattingly Weber
48. "Like snowflakes, my Christmas memories gather and dance - each beautiful, unique and too soon gone." -- Deborah Whipp
49. "Somehow, not only for Christmas, But all the long year through, The joy that you give to others, Is the joy that comes back to you. And the more you spend in blessing, The poor and lonely and sad, The more of your heart's possessing, Returns to you glad." -- John Greenleaf Whittier
50. "Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall." -- Larry Wilde

Resource Box - � Danielle Hollister (2004) is the Publisher of BellaOnline Quotations Zine - A free newsletter for quote lovers featuring more than 10,000 quotations in dozens of categories like - love, friendship, children, inspiration, success, wisdom, family, life, and many more. All new subscribers get a free ad. Read it online at - http://www.bellaonline.com/articles/art8364.asp

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Legends of the Christmas Tree

Legends of the Christmas Tree
By Susanna Duffy

The Christmas tree is a much loved symbol iinstantly calling up images of gifts and family jollity. There are many beautiful connections to ancient traditions. Egyptian and Roman customs, early Christian practices and Victorian nostalgia are all combined in our modern Christmas tree.

The Greek Fir is commonly used as a Christmas tree. Ancient Greeks called the tree "Pitys" and, together with the pine-tree, it was sacred to Pan. Legend tells us Pan was once in love with a nymph called Pity, as was the god of the North wind. Pity chose Pan and the wind god, insulted and humiliated, blew her over a gorge to her death. Pan found her lifeless body and turned her into his sacred Fir-tree. Ever since, whenever the North wind blows, you can Pity crying and her tears are the droplets of pitch that leak from the fir-cones every autumn.

Since ancient times, evergreen trees have been revered as a representation of sexual potency and fertility, and played an important role in Winter Celebrations. Perhaps the Christmas tree is a watered-down version of the Scandinavian Yggdrasil, the Great Tree of Life. In Northern Europe the evergreen was a reminder that the long dark nights of Winter would end and the green of Spring would return. For Saturnalia, Romans would decorate their trees with suns, candles and small pieces of metal and today we still carry trees into our homes and adorn them.

During the winter solstice, Egyptians carried green palms into their homes to symbolise the triumph of life over over death. Living trees in large tubs were brought into homes during the old German feast of Yule. Prince Albert, husband and Consort of Queen Victoria, carried on this German tradition by adorning a tree with candles, candies, fruits and gingerbread. Although generally adverse to anything German in origin, the English public held great affection for their Queen and soon adopted the custom for themselves.

Some say the Christmas Tree has evolved from Paradise Plays. From the eleventh century, these popular religious plays were performed outdoors and in churches. It told the story of the creation of Adam and Eve, their sin, and their banishment from Paradise. The only prop on stage was the "Paradise tree," a fir tree adorned with apples. From this tree, at the appropriate time in the play, Eve would take the fruit, eat it, and give it to Adam.

One legend tells of St. Boniface who encountered some German pagans about to sacrifice a child at the base of an Oak tree. He cut down the Oak to prevent the sacrifice and a Fir tree grew in its place. St Boniface told the pagans that this was the Tree of Life and represented the Christ.

Another delightful legend is told of the time the Holy family was pursued by the soldiers of Herod, when many plants offered to provide them with shelter. One such plant was the Pine tree. With Mary too weary to travel any longer, the family stopped at the edge of a forest to rest and a gnarled old Pine grown hollow with the years invited them to rest within its trunk. Then, it closed its branches down, keeping the family safe until the soldiers had passed by. As they left, the Christ Child blessed the Pine and the imprint of his tiny hand was left forever in the tree's fruit...the Pine cone. If a cone is cut lengthwise, the hand may still be seen.

Martin Luther also features in the legends of the Christmas Tree. Late one night the founder of the Protestant religion was taking a stroll through the woods. The sky was clear and many stars were shining through the branches of the trees, giving the impression of twinkling lights. Luther was so captivated and inspired by the beautiful brilliance of the sight that he cut down a small evergreen and brought it home. He recreated the stars by placing candles upon the tree's branches to imitate their radiance and presented it to his children.

Whatever legend pleases you, make sure to pass on the story when you gather around your own Christmas tree.

Susanna Duffy is a Civil Celebrant, grief counsellor and mythologist. She creates ceremonies and Rites of Passage for individual and civic functions, and specialises in celebrations for women. http://celebrant.yarralink.com

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10 Tips for More Meaningful Holidays

10 Tips for More Meaningful Holidays
By Barbara Hemphill

No matter how many lists you make, cards you send, gifts you buy, or packages you wrap, there will be things you intended to do this holiday season that won't get done. If you do manage to get everything done, but you're too tired to enjoy the season, everyone suffers.

Consider these tips to minimize your stress and maximize the meaning this holiday season:

1. Tamper with tradition. Dragging yourself through "we've always done it" rituals when they've lost their meaning, and you've lost your energy, does not contribute to holiday joy.

2. Begin the season by making a list - but don't stop there. Pick out the most important item, the second, and on down the list. Remember, a creative mind always has more ideas than the body can accomplish!

3. Use your calendar - not just for appointments with other people, but with yourself as well. If you plan to send cards, estimate how much time it will take to write and address them, and block out that time on your calendar.

4. Ask your family what's important. Prepared foods instead of home-cooked means more time for sharing new sports equipment and relaxing with friends.

5. Avoid perfectionism in gift-giving. It's the thought that counts. Choose one or two gifts that can be used for several people. A relaxed parent or hostess is a greater gift than anything money can buy.

6. Focus your energy. If your family isn't as excited as you are about decorating the whole house, invest your efforts on what means the most to you.

7. If the holidays bring pain because of death, divorce, or family far away, be gentle with yourself. Recognize that grief is a healthy and that next year will be better, even if you can't believe it today. Concentrate on making other people's holiday more joyful.

8. Take time out from total togetherness. Let your child call a friend and take a nap. Give your siblings the car keys and a map. The idea is for everyone to enjoy the occasion.

9. Be clear about expectations. If you never tell your family what you want them to do, it's unfair to expect them to know.

10. Look over your list, leave off what you can live without, and enjoy the real reason for the season.

� Barbara Hemphill is the author of Kiplinger's Taming the Paper Tiger at Work and Taming the Paper Tiger at Home and co-author of Love It or Lose It: Living Clutter-Free Forever. The mission of Hemphill Productivity Institute is to help individuals and organizations create and sustain a productive environment so they can accomplish their work and enjoy their lives. We do this by organizing space, information, and time. We can be reached at 800-427-0237 or at www.ProductiveEnvironment.com

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Quick and Easy Holiday Decorating

Quick and Easy Holiday Decorating
By Liz Hekimian-Williams

You're tired. You've worked hard all week. Suddenly, the kids shout gleefully... "let's decorate!" ... in anticipation of the coming holiday. The "let's not" is miraculously not permitted to escape your lips. Instead you take a deep breath while you wonder about how this decorating could become an easier and more fun-filled activity. Well, it can be! - First, insist on family members pitching in to help and treat this like a family project. This should not just rest on your shoulders to accomplish and it will be much more fun if you all are making changes and creating memories together. - Next, pick a day and time you'll all devote no more than one to two hours for a quick holiday makeover at your home (for a major decorating holiday schedule two or three longer blocks of time). It helps if you can set the decorating date about one to two weeks from now, if time still allows for that. This gives you time to gather items together for the project. - Ask the kids to create one or two new arts and crafts decorations that are suitable to the holiday to have ready for the decorating day. Or, ask them to select ones from among any they may already have on hand, for instance, from school projects. - Decide on 3 to 4 areas you will focus on decorating this year. Here are some choices: the front door, the front yard, the entry hallway, the kitchen table, the dining room table, the living room, the patio, the bathroom, the bedroom. There are other areas you could consider as well. But if you want quick and dirty, then focus in on only 3 to 4 of the areas for decorating this year. Anyway, you can select other areas next year for a change. - Keep holiday decorations in separate bags, boxes or baskets in the same closet or in the attic so they'll be easy for everyone to retrieve when they are needed next. - Buy items you really love when you see them advertised or they may not be available when you later. It's common for seasonal merchandise to change from year to year and also they are not stocked year-round typically. So, your item may no longer be available if you wait too long to decide you want it. Then stash your figurines, statues, wall hangings, and other holiday
decorations in your bags or boxes, sorted by holiday. - Make or buy some snacks or treats to enjoy together at the completion of your decorating time. Here are some favorite quick and easy decorating areas and tips: 1. The front door- Have a welcome sign that is theme oriented and you can easily change by season or by holiday. You can either hang up a completely new themed sign, or there are some that come with interchangeable pieces you swap in and out representing different holidays or themes. 2. The dining room table or a table that is centrally located but not used that often- Change the table runner or the tablecloth to a holiday themed one. Then showcase your holiday decorations by arranging a combination of your kid's holiday creations and your own figurines or other holiday decor on the table. 3. The mantel or entertainment center- Add a string of lights and if you wish, you can also vary the string of lights by color best suited for the coming holiday theme. Wall hangings can be changed around this area temporarily as well. Holiday accessories, flags, figurines, etc. are easy to rotate in and to view on or around this area of your home. 4. Special areas by kid's choice- Smaller children can help by adding little decorations to windows and glass doors. They enjoy taping up their creations or they can easily put up static cling decorations. Other areas small children enjoy decorating include outdoors, the dog house and their own rooms. Allow them to handle this aspect of decorating while you take pleasure in their big smiles and hugs! Finally, make your decorating time even more enjoyable by having holiday background music or other favorite tunes playing in the background. Then, when you're done decorating, finish up with a big family hug and munching on tasty snack treats together!

Author Resource Box:

Liz Hekimian-Williams is founder of Giftsprings.com, a gifts and home decor online shop that features personalized gifts, custom engraved stones, holiday decor and special occasion gifts. Visit the gift shop at http://www.giftsprings.com

� 2003, 2004 Elizabeth Hekimian-Williams, Giftsprings

This article can be freely reprinted as long as the copyright notice and author resource byline with active link are included with the article.

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50 Ways to Acknowledge Your Employees Before and After Labor Day

50 Ways to Acknowledge Your Employees Before and After Labor Day
By Andy O'Bryan

For most people, Labor Day symbolizes the end of summer, back to school, and another long weekend. Deep down however, when we stop for a moment and reflect as we often do on bank holidays, we all know that Labor Day is, in reality, meant to signify a time to recognize the achievement, struggle and determination of the working man and woman.

Here are 50 ways to acknowledge your employees in honor of Labor Day. See how many you are doing already, and which ones you could start doing better:

1. Ask them about themselves
2. Find ways to stay in an affirmative frame of mind, by saying yes as often as possible
3. If an employee makes a mistake, keep your emotions in check and mentor them to the make the right decision the next time
4. Be honest, ethical and forthright at all times. Stop yourself from stretching the truth about any issue that may arise
5. Listen to their needs and wants
6. Let them help you with your marketing plan
7. Listen to their stories about their families
8. Inquire if something is wrong if you feel an employee is acting different than usual
9. Remember the names of those employees in other departments you don't know
10. Find out the birthdays of your employees and remember to send each one a card when that day comes around
11. Present several options when they seek your advice, but also allow them to come up with their own solutions
12. Surprise them with an impromptu incentive, reward or thank you just for doing their job in the unique way that they do it
13. Stay with them a few moments after you've resolved an issue, just to make sure there aren't any lingering questions they were hesitant to ask
14. Have lunch brought in
15. Let them take the reins on a customer issue, giving them the empowerment they deserve
16. Stop by their work area just to say Hi
17. Let them vent
18. Discuss their higher aspirations
19. Let down your guard
20. Come out from behind your desk when they come to see you
21. Tell them they're doing a great job (you can't do this too often)
22. Learn something from them
23. Don't think with your mouth open
24. Make yourself accessible, answer your phone and return your emails
25. If you make a mistake, say you're sorry
26. Keep your promises
27. When you talk to them look in their eyes
28. Pass out their pay stubs and checks, and as you give it to them, thank them for the work they do
29. Acknowledge an everyday task they do, and tell them specifically how well they do it
30. Give them your undivided attention.
31. Ask for their opinion.
32. Encourage their creativity when faced with a challenge
33. Find out what they're best at, and help them become masterful at it
34. Be genuinely glad to see them
35. Bend
36. Allow them to find their own way, but give help when requested
37. Give them immediate feedback.
38. Include them in conversations with your peers, don't make them feel left out
39. Respect them.
40. Be patient when they're having a bad day
41. Send them to a meeting in your place, with their permission
42. Believe what they say
43. Laugh at their jokes
44. Encourage them to think outside the box
45. Let them look at the big picture with you
46. Share company goals with them, even if you think they won't understand it all
47. Encourage all types of feedback
48. Make sure your voicemail message is as friendly as possible
49. Introduce them to your boss's boss
50. Tell them if they ever have a question or concern they can call you at home, and give them your number.

Andy O’Bryan is author of Incentive Toolkit 2005, the new ebook that gives employers creative and easy ways to motivate ttarget="_new" he great performance and reward the job well done, available at [http://www.incentivetoolkit.com/]. To book an employee motivation session, consultation or keynote send an email to ajobryan@aol.com for a menu of topics.

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Top Three Strategies to Overcome Overwhelm During the Holidays

Top Three Strategies to Overcome Overwhelm During the Holidays
By Donna P. Lendzyk

The Holiday Season can be a wonderful time of the year with the lovely decorations, exchanging of gifts, visiting with friends and family as well as the lovely meals. For many of us, the Holiday Season can also be quite overwhelming with all the added activities of this time of year such as decorating our homes, selecting, buying, wrapping and exchanging gifts with those in our lives and hosting our friends and family while we prepare multi-course elaborate meals! The question is, "What can we do to Overcome Overwhelm during the Holidays?"

1. Simplify Your Life

Holidays that are full of complexity sounds neither fun nor comfortable. It can easily contribute to feeling overwhelmed. We can be invited to numerous events and want to host others ourselves. Although these activities can be very wonderful experiences, there can be too many for us to prepare for and attend to in a short period of time. There is also the gifts selecting, wrapping and delivery. And then there is the house decorating and potentially traveling to visit with friends and family across the country. Keeping the holidays simple with a manageable number of events to attend and/or host, can greatly contribute to Overcoming Overwhelm during the Holidays.

2. Practice Extreme Self Care

In our fast paced world, many times our physical bodies are the very last consideration in terms of priority. We drag our bodies around nonstop and we can be indifferent to signs of exhaustion. When we practice extreme self care, our mind, body and spirit are much more likely to assist us in our other efforts by providing strong support including energy, enthusiasm and presence. With extreme self care our energy is up, our confidence is up and we feel much more positive. Some examples of self-care activities include sufficient sleep, quiet time, exercise, healthy food, joyful recreation etc. Often during the holidays, some of our self-care activities can be put on hold with all the hustle and bustle of the season. Taking the best care of ourselves during the Holiday Season can contribute greatly to Overcoming Overwhelm during the Holidays.

3. Celebrate The Unique You

Sometimes there can be things on our to-do list that we feel that we "should" or "must" do that we really don't enjoy doing or does not leverage our best skills. These things can end up being delayed or undone, or if taken on, can contribute to frustration or overwhelm. Instead, we can consider whether there is someone else who can take care of the item for us or determine if the activity really needs to be done at this time.

There are many events and activities that we can participate in during the holidays on top of regular life activities. If we don't know what we really want during the Holiday Season, then it will be much harder to say no to invitations that are not in alignment with our desires. Defining clearly our preferences in writing is a great place to start. By sharing our desired Holiday Season with our life partner, asking them what their desired Holiday Season is and integrating these two collaboratively, you have a plan the two of you can action and support together for the Holiday Season. Celebrating the Unique You, by respecting and celebrating your desired Holiday Season, can greatly contribute to Overcoming Overwhelm and experiencing more power, serenity and joy during the Holiday Season.

(c) 2003 Donna P. Lendzyk

Donna P. Lendzyk, The "More Done Less Time" Business Coach, helps business owners to Get More Done in Less Time With Greater Ease...So They Can Make More Profits and Take More Time Off! For more great tips, check out Donna's Business Audio Podcast Show at http://www.TheMoreDoneLessTimeShow.com

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Tips For Singles on Surviving (And Enjoying) The Holidays

Tips For Singles on Surviving (And Enjoying) The Holidays
By Toni Coleman

Here you are, facing the holiday season alone. Have you been thinking about?

*how alone and lonely you feel

*excuses you can give family members as to why you can't come this year

*what friends may be available to spend those long days with

*how another year has passed and you are (still) single

*how unfair it is that everyone else seems so happy and connected

*how you will handle the office holiday party- single, take a friend, not attend

*going to a far away (tropical?) place to escape it all

*hiding out, alone, in your own home

If these thoughts sound familiar it is probably time to reflect on your feelings regarding this holiday season. If your goal is to hide out and endure it alone, you won't need to do too much planning. However, if you wish to experience at least a measure of the "peace and joy" associated with this time of year, you need to make and follow through with plans that allow you to participate in ways that are meaningful to YOU.

Remember, your senses are bombarded from October to December with music, images and Hallmark verses depicting the "right" experiences and expressions for the season. Remind yourself, every day if necessary, that there's nothing wrong with being single. You have the same need and right to enjoy this season as any couple or family does. How you choose to do this is up to you.

After you have done some serious reflection, consider the following list of holiday tips designed especially for singles.

Don't make plans out of a sense of obligation. This is also your holiday season. Set limits, make good choices and enjoy. You may ask yourself; "do I really want to go out"? If so, make your next question something like; "does it sound like something I would enjoy or be interested in?" Or, "will I have the opportunity to meet and mix with other singles?"

Avoid unrealistic expectations from others, from yourself and from the holidays themselves. Relax, enjoy and don't expect so much that you will feel hurt or disappointed when things don't turn out just as you had imagined. This will defeat all the positive feelings and experiences that you may have already gained.

Make sure you give thanks for all the blessings you do have in your life. Focusing on what you don't have only encourages negative thoughts. Add a prayer of hope for the things you would like to work for in the coming year.

Don't overbook OR overstay a good amount of time with relatives/friends. Sometimes a shorter stay works best and leaves you energy and space to get back to your own home and decompress.

Look for ways to give to or do for others. Feeling useful and appreciated will provide a great boost to your holiday spirits. Check into volunteer opportunities at local shelters and nursing homes or through any local church or non-profit group.

Don't plan to spend the entire holiday season with married /coupled family and friends. Seek out other singles and singles groups/ activities where you can feel relaxed and able to share with folks you have more in common with at this time. Better yet, plan a get together with other singles for one of the holidays. A festive potluck meal, tree trimming party or other holiday event would probably be much appreciated.

Do avoid using food, alcohol or drugs to cope with holiday stress. Nothing is worse than the feelings that follow the use (or wrong use) of these things. This way of coping leads to depression, low self-esteem and a greater sense of isolation and despair.

Do decorate your home with any and all things that make it feel more festive and fun for YOU. Tune into all those wonderful traditions you grew up with. It does not have to be very costly or time consuming to begin your own traditions in your own place. Don't put off or deny yourself those happy holiday expressions, as you wait for your significant other. Make your life all it can be right now.

Consider emphasizing the more spiritual aspects of the holiday. Go to a concert featuring religious holiday music or attend a church (or other) service, (even better with a friend).

Finally, going away to an exotic place may be just what you do need. Look into tour or vacation packages for singles. This may provide plenty of rest and relaxation and help you meet new friends and develop new interests.

Whatever you decide to do for your holidays, have fun and enjoy them. Focus on taking care of yourself and doing what is right for you. This way you will also be giving your best to those around you. Happy Holidays!

Toni Coleman, MSW is a licensed psychotherapist, relationship coach and founder of http://www.consum-mate.com. As a recognized expert, Toni has been quoted in many local and national publications including: The Chicago Tribune, The Orlando Sentinel, New York Daily News, Indianapolis Star and Newsweek newspapers and Family Circle, Woman's Day, Cosmo Style, Tango, Men�s Health, Star (regularly quoted body language expert), and Nirvana magazines. She has been featured on abcnews.com; discovery.health.com; aolnews.com; MSN.com, Match.com and planetearthradio.com. Toni offers dating help and relationship advice as the weekly love and dating coach on the KTRS Radio Morning Show (St. Louis, MO) and through her syndicated column, �Dear Dating Coach.� Her newsletter, The Art Of Intimacy, helps over fifty-five hundred subscribers with its dating and relationship advice. Toni is a member of The International Coach Federation, The International Association Of Coaches and The National Association of Social Workers.

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Going Solo on Valentine's Day: Advice For Singles

Going Solo on Valentine's Day: Advice For Singles
By Toni Coleman

The stores are decorated in candy hearts, flowers and bears. Every TV or radio commercial reminds you that it's time to remember your sweetheart on this special day for lovers. Your feelings range from sadness, to revulsion to anger. What's a single person to do? The following suggestions are designed to both answer that question and to help you have a good day after all, while working to make it your last solo one.

Celebrate the day by planning an activity that is meaningful and enjoyable to you.

Choose something that provides you with a special treat.

* Go to a day spa for "the works"

* plan an intimate dinner for 3 or 4

* go ice-skating or to the movies with a fun friend

* go out to dinner and a movie with a group of other singles

* Focus on what you enjoy and make a conscious decision about how to mark the day

* Un-Valentines Day parties are very popular and can be a lot of silly fun. You can attend one or throw one of your own.

Design a relationship-building plan.

Let the holiday provide you with the motivation to take risks, try new ideas and gain the knowledge that will enable you to find and create a lasting, intimate relationship.

* Sit down at the computer or with pen and paper in hand and get your plan written down.

* Begin by making a list of resources that can be used to help you meet available singles.
These can include: on-line dating sites, singles groups, volunteer activities, or participation in sports or other activities that you enjoy.

*Decide when and how often you will participate in any activity you have chosen.

*Make a budget for both time and available funds for this purpose.

*Do your homework and research each resource so the information will be available when you need it.

Review those resolutions you made, or make some if you haven't yet.

Think about what is really important to you. Remind yourself that implementing and sticking to these will help ensure that you are really ready for that special relationship. Being the kind of person you want to be with is the first step.

Begin with concrete goals. For example:

*stick with a healthy diet

* exercise three times a week

* plan one organizational task per week, etc.

Taking care of yourself and living well will optimize your chances for relationship success. Start today.

Work to eliminate negative thinking.

When a negative thought comes into your mind, take a moment to think about what is beneath it. Then, tell yourself that thinking this way is not good for you. Make a decision to drop the thought and try to think of something (anything) that is positive. It can be as simple as focusing on what a beautiful day it is outside, to feeling grateful that you survived the current wave of lay-offs in your company.

Use this technique for situations as well. Ask yourself how you can view the situation differently. Try to find one positive angle or outcome that could result from an otherwise bad situation. For example, you are being laid off from your job. You have been unhappy for a long time, but could not motivate yourself to do anything about it. Now, you have the motivation to look for a new job, or perhaps change careers. Think of all the possibilities that could open up for you.

Negative thinking is a downward spiral that leads to negative behavior and possibly depression. Consciously choose to challenge these thoughts, and empower yourself with a more positive outlook and approach to life.

Hopefully these tips will assist you in having a better "solo" Valentine's Day than you might have been headed for. Enjoy the day by doing something fun. Then focus on your relationship plan and empower yourself to build the healthy, lasting relationship of your dreams.

Toni Coleman, MSW is a licensed psychotherapist, relationship coach and founder of http://www.consum-mate.com. As a recognized expert, Toni has been quoted in many local and national publications including: The Chicago Tribune, The Orlando Sentinel, New York Daily News, Indianapolis Star and Newsweek newspapers and Family Circle, Woman's Day, Cosmo Style, Tango, Men�s Health, Star (regularly quoted body language expert), and Nirvana magazines. She has been featured on abcnews.com; discovery.health.com; aolnews.com; MSN.com, Match.com and planetearthradio.com. Toni offers dating help and relationship advice as the weekly love and dating coach on the KTRS Radio Morning Show (St. Louis, MO) and through her syndicated column, �Dear Dating Coach.� Her newsletter, The Art Of Intimacy, helps over fifty-five hundred subscribers with its dating and relationship advice. Toni is a member of The International Coach Federation, The International Association Of Coaches and The National Association of Social Workers.

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10 Steps to a Relaxing Thanksgiving

10 Steps to a Relaxing Thanksgiving
By Barbara Hemphill

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday! Family, friends, good food - and no presents to buy. To make it your best holiday ever, consider these organizing tips:

o Choose your preferred style: formal with everyone dressed up and using their best manners - or a more informal relaxed style. If you've invited more people than your dining table will seat, decide whether to add extra tables or a set up a buffet and use couches and occasional chairs for seating. Arrange for extra chairs if necessary.

o Keep in mind the ages of the people involved - and choose a time for the meal that will fit their needs - young children may get too tired if you wait to sit down at 1:00 pm. Consider seating for children based on ages. Teenagers might enjoy the day more seated together.

o Ask guests to identify their favorite dish - include as many of them as possible. (If someone wants a pecan pie, and you don't like to bake them, check out your local restaurant or bakery.) Don't assume you have to do everything - why not invite guests to bring a favorite dish? (Or ask them to bring a table centerpiece or bottle of wine.)

o Plan your menu well in advance, make a shopping list, and purchase non-perishables at the same time you do your regular shopping. If you're planning to use a fresh turkey, place your order early.

o Get out the table linens before Thanksgiving morning - make sure you have the sizes you need, and check to see if they need to be laundered, or ironed.

o Select table decorations. If you have children, involve them in the planning and execution of the celebration. (My children loved to make turkey cookies!) Consider disposable Thanksgiving napkins.

o To save clean-up time, or if the family china is insufficient to accommodate the guest list, attractive holiday disposable tableware is a viable option. Be sure you have enough serving dishes and utensils for the quantities you will be serving.

o If you're having a sit-down dinner, consider setting your table the day before to minimize last-minute stress. Make a checklist of things to be done on Thanksgiving day in order or priority.

o Determine your clean-up strategy prior to dinner. Do you want everyone to chip in and help - or would you prefer to spend the time with the family - and clean it up when they're gone?

o When the day is over, make notes about anything you wish you had done differently - file your notes away for next year, and give Thanksgiving for another special day.

� Barbara Hemphill is the author of Kiplinger's Taming the Paper Tiger at Work and Taming the Paper Tiger at Home and co-author of Love It or Lose It: Living Clutter-Free Forever. The mission of Hemphill Productivity Institute is to help individuals and organizations create and sustain a productive environment so they can accomplish their work and enjoy their lives. We do this by organizing space, information, and time. We can be reached at 800-427-0237 or at www.ProductiveEnvironment.com

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Making Time to Write this Holiday Season

Making Time to Write this Holiday Season
By Danielle Hollister

As the countdown to Christmas day continues, most everyone is naturally all wrapped up in preparing for the big day (and the eve of the big day and the day after the big day...).

Whether it's shopping, baking, or hosting holiday gatherings, you are probably engaged in time-consuming activities related to the season.
Although your dedication to these tasks is completely reasonable and most likely pre-planned, your ability to meet these demands and still have to write may not be as realistic.

In order to maintain your sanity through the holidays, you should not allow your writing time to totally disappear. You may find yourself feeling somewhat stressed out, as you try to tackle the gift buying and deal with the family get-togethers.

I honestly believe that if you make time to write during this hectic season, you may alleviate some of the inevitable anxiety associated with the holidays. Writing can be as relaxing to writers as watching television is to couch potatoes.

You should not overlook the value of a little me time (or break/rest time for you alone). Schedule some me time or free time into your busy day, and then actually TAKE IT!

During this break period (however small it may be), you may find that it will help you to write about your worries and/or aggravations. You could accomplish this goal by:

1. Recording the events of your day into a diary of sorts before you go to sleep each night.
2. Writing random thoughts or jotting down brief notes as they come to mind through out your day.
3. Carrying a journal with you to family gatherings, shopping expeditions, holiday celebrations and related events and then use it to write whatever you feel like writing about at any given time.

(For example, you may observe something that inspires a story idea or you may want to record actual images, scenes or conversations that occur during these seasonal festivities.)

Making lists of things associated with the holidays that you either know a lot about or want to learn more about - which in turn could serve as possible article ideas for next year at this time.

Chronicle your feelings about your child as you watch him experience his first Christmas and then continue to do this each year until he no longer believes in Santa Claus (or until you no longer see the look in his eyes expressing the natural awe of the season that only children have).

Compile your account of these yearly events into a memoir for yourself and/or as a gift to share with your child when he gets older. You could also use your chronicle as a stepping stone for a possible book about Christmas, children, holidays etc...

Whatever you write about or however you choose to use your writing time, your primary goal will be achieved, if you just TAKE TIME to write during this busy season!

Best of luck to you and Happy Holidays to you and your families.

Resource Box - � Danielle Hollister (2004) is the Publisher of BellaOnline Quotations Zine - A free newsletter for quote lovers featuring more than 10,000 quotations in dozens of categories like - love, friendship, children, inspiration, success, wisdom, family, life, and many more. Read it online at - http://www.bellaonline.com/articles/art8364.asp

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