Holiday

1/16/2010

Top Three Strategies to Overcome Overwhelm During the Holidays

Top Three Strategies to Overcome Overwhelm During the Holidays
By Donna P. Lendzyk

The Holiday Season can be a wonderful time of the year with the lovely decorations, exchanging of gifts, visiting with friends and family as well as the lovely meals. For many of us, the Holiday Season can also be quite overwhelming with all the added activities of this time of year such as decorating our homes, selecting, buying, wrapping and exchanging gifts with those in our lives and hosting our friends and family while we prepare multi-course elaborate meals! The question is, "What can we do to Overcome Overwhelm during the Holidays?"

1. Simplify Your Life

Holidays that are full of complexity sounds neither fun nor comfortable. It can easily contribute to feeling overwhelmed. We can be invited to numerous events and want to host others ourselves. Although these activities can be very wonderful experiences, there can be too many for us to prepare for and attend to in a short period of time. There is also the gifts selecting, wrapping and delivery. And then there is the house decorating and potentially traveling to visit with friends and family across the country. Keeping the holidays simple with a manageable number of events to attend and/or host, can greatly contribute to Overcoming Overwhelm during the Holidays.

2. Practice Extreme Self Care

In our fast paced world, many times our physical bodies are the very last consideration in terms of priority. We drag our bodies around nonstop and we can be indifferent to signs of exhaustion. When we practice extreme self care, our mind, body and spirit are much more likely to assist us in our other efforts by providing strong support including energy, enthusiasm and presence. With extreme self care our energy is up, our confidence is up and we feel much more positive. Some examples of self-care activities include sufficient sleep, quiet time, exercise, healthy food, joyful recreation etc. Often during the holidays, some of our self-care activities can be put on hold with all the hustle and bustle of the season. Taking the best care of ourselves during the Holiday Season can contribute greatly to Overcoming Overwhelm during the Holidays.

3. Celebrate The Unique You

Sometimes there can be things on our to-do list that we feel that we "should" or "must" do that we really don't enjoy doing or does not leverage our best skills. These things can end up being delayed or undone, or if taken on, can contribute to frustration or overwhelm. Instead, we can consider whether there is someone else who can take care of the item for us or determine if the activity really needs to be done at this time.

There are many events and activities that we can participate in during the holidays on top of regular life activities. If we don't know what we really want during the Holiday Season, then it will be much harder to say no to invitations that are not in alignment with our desires. Defining clearly our preferences in writing is a great place to start. By sharing our desired Holiday Season with our life partner, asking them what their desired Holiday Season is and integrating these two collaboratively, you have a plan the two of you can action and support together for the Holiday Season. Celebrating the Unique You, by respecting and celebrating your desired Holiday Season, can greatly contribute to Overcoming Overwhelm and experiencing more power, serenity and joy during the Holiday Season.

Donna P. Lendzyk, The "More Done Less Time" Business Coach, helps business owners to Get More Done in Less Time With Greater Ease...So They Can Make More Profits and Take More Time Off! For more great tips, check out Donna's Business Audio Podcast Show at http://www.TheMoreDoneLessTimeShow.com

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1/15/2010

Tips For Singles on Surviving (And Enjoying) The Holidays

Tips For Singles on Surviving (And Enjoying) The Holidays
By Toni Coleman

Here you are, facing the holiday season alone. Have you been thinking about?

*how alone and lonely you feel

*excuses you can give family members as to why you can't come this year

*what friends may be available to spend those long days with

*how another year has passed and you are (still) single

*how unfair it is that everyone else seems so happy and connected

*how you will handle the office holiday party- single, take a friend, not attend

*going to a far away (tropical?) place to escape it all

*hiding out, alone, in your own home

If these thoughts sound familiar it is probably time to reflect on your feelings regarding this holiday season. If your goal is to hide out and endure it alone, you won't need to do too much planning. However, if you wish to experience at least a measure of the "peace and joy" associated with this time of year, you need to make and follow through with plans that allow you to participate in ways that are meaningful to YOU.

Remember, your senses are bombarded from October to December with music, images and Hallmark verses depicting the "right" experiences and expressions for the season. Remind yourself, every day if necessary, that there's nothing wrong with being single. You have the same need and right to enjoy this season as any couple or family does. How you choose to do this is up to you.

After you have done some serious reflection, consider the following list of holiday tips designed especially for singles.

Don't make plans out of a sense of obligation. This is also your holiday season. Set limits, make good choices and enjoy. You may ask yourself; "do I really want to go out"? If so, make your next question something like; "does it sound like something I would enjoy or be interested in?" Or, "will I have the opportunity to meet and mix with other singles?"

Avoid unrealistic expectations from others, from yourself and from the holidays themselves. Relax, enjoy and don't expect so much that you will feel hurt or disappointed when things don't turn out just as you had imagined. This will defeat all the positive feelings and experiences that you may have already gained.

Make sure you give thanks for all the blessings you do have in your life. Focusing on what you don't have only encourages negative thoughts. Add a prayer of hope for the things you would like to work for in the coming year.

Don't overbook OR overstay a good amount of time with relatives/friends. Sometimes a shorter stay works best and leaves you energy and space to get back to your own home and decompress.

Look for ways to give to or do for others. Feeling useful and appreciated will provide a great boost to your holiday spirits. Check into volunteer opportunities at local shelters and nursing homes or through any local church or non-profit group.

Don't plan to spend the entire holiday season with married /coupled family and friends. Seek out other singles and singles groups/ activities where you can feel relaxed and able to share with folks you have more in common with at this time. Better yet, plan a get together with other singles for one of the holidays. A festive potluck meal, tree trimming party or other holiday event would probably be much appreciated.

Do avoid using food, alcohol or drugs to cope with holiday stress. Nothing is worse than the feelings that follow the use (or wrong use) of these things. This way of coping leads to depression, low self-esteem and a greater sense of isolation and despair.

Do decorate your home with any and all things that make it feel more festive and fun for YOU. Tune into all those wonderful traditions you grew up with. It does not have to be very costly or time consuming to begin your own traditions in your own place. Don't put off or deny yourself those happy holiday expressions, as you wait for your significant other. Make your life all it can be right now.

Consider emphasizing the more spiritual aspects of the holiday. Go to a concert featuring religious holiday music or attend a church (or other) service, (even better with a friend).

Finally, going away to an exotic place may be just what you do need. Look into tour or vacation packages for singles. This may provide plenty of rest and relaxation and help you meet new friends and develop new interests.

Whatever you decide to do for your holidays, have fun and enjoy them. Focus on taking care of yourself and doing what is right for you. This way you will also be giving your best to those around you. Happy Holidays!

Toni Coleman, MSW is a licensed psychotherapist, relationship coach and founder of http://www.consum-mate.com. As a recognized expert, Toni has been quoted in many local and national publications including: The Chicago Tribune, The Orlando Sentinel, New York Daily News, Indianapolis Star and Newsweek newspapers and Family Circle, Woman's Day, Cosmo Style, Tango, Men�s Health, Star (regularly quoted body language expert), and Nirvana magazines. She has been featured on abcnews.com; discovery.health.com; aolnews.com; MSN.com, Match.com and planetearthradio.com. Toni offers dating help and relationship advice as the weekly love and dating coach on the KTRS Radio Morning Show (St. Louis, MO) and through her syndicated column, �Dear Dating Coach.� Her newsletter, The Art Of Intimacy, helps over fifty-five hundred subscribers with its dating and relationship advice. Toni is a member of The International Coach Federation, The International Association Of Coaches and The National Association of Social Workers.

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1/14/2010

Going Solo on Valentine's Day: Advice For Singles

Going Solo on Valentine's Day: Advice For Singles
By Toni Coleman

The stores are decorated in candy hearts, flowers and bears. Every TV or radio commercial reminds you that it's time to remember your sweetheart on this special day for lovers. Your feelings range from sadness, to revulsion to anger. What's a single person to do? The following suggestions are designed to both answer that question and to help you have a good day after all, while working to make it your last solo one.

Celebrate the day by planning an activity that is meaningful and enjoyable to you.

Choose something that provides you with a special treat.

* Go to a day spa for "the works"

* plan an intimate dinner for 3 or 4

* go ice-skating or to the movies with a fun friend

* go out to dinner and a movie with a group of other singles

* Focus on what you enjoy and make a conscious decision about how to mark the day

* Un-Valentines Day parties are very popular and can be a lot of silly fun. You can attend one or throw one of your own.

Design a relationship-building plan.

Let the holiday provide you with the motivation to take risks, try new ideas and gain the knowledge that will enable you to find and create a lasting, intimate relationship.

* Sit down at the computer or with pen and paper in hand and get your plan written down.

* Begin by making a list of resources that can be used to help you meet available singles.
These can include: on-line dating sites, singles groups, volunteer activities, or participation in sports or other activities that you enjoy.

*Decide when and how often you will participate in any activity you have chosen.

*Make a budget for both time and available funds for this purpose.

*Do your homework and research each resource so the information will be available when you need it.

Review those resolutions you made, or make some if you haven't yet.

Think about what is really important to you. Remind yourself that implementing and sticking to these will help ensure that you are really ready for that special relationship. Being the kind of person you want to be with is the first step.

Begin with concrete goals. For example:

*stick with a healthy diet

* exercise three times a week

* plan one organizational task per week, etc.

Taking care of yourself and living well will optimize your chances for relationship success. Start today.

Work to eliminate negative thinking.

When a negative thought comes into your mind, take a moment to think about what is beneath it. Then, tell yourself that thinking this way is not good for you. Make a decision to drop the thought and try to think of something (anything) that is positive. It can be as simple as focusing on what a beautiful day it is outside, to feeling grateful that you survived the current wave of lay-offs in your company.

Use this technique for situations as well. Ask yourself how you can view the situation differently. Try to find one positive angle or outcome that could result from an otherwise bad situation. For example, you are being laid off from your job. You have been unhappy for a long time, but could not motivate yourself to do anything about it. Now, you have the motivation to look for a new job, or perhaps change careers. Think of all the possibilities that could open up for you.

Negative thinking is a downward spiral that leads to negative behavior and possibly depression. Consciously choose to challenge these thoughts, and empower yourself with a more positive outlook and approach to life.

Hopefully these tips will assist you in having a better "solo" Valentine's Day than you might have been headed for. Enjoy the day by doing something fun. Then focus on your relationship plan and empower yourself to build the healthy, lasting relationship of your dreams.

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1/13/2010

10 Steps to a Relaxing Thanksgiving

10 Steps to a Relaxing Thanksgiving
By Barbara Hemphill

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday! Family, friends, good food - and no presents to buy. To make it your best holiday ever, consider these organizing tips:

o Choose your preferred style: formal with everyone dressed up and using their best manners - or a more informal relaxed style. If you've invited more people than your dining table will seat, decide whether to add extra tables or a set up a buffet and use couches and occasional chairs for seating. Arrange for extra chairs if necessary.

o Keep in mind the ages of the people involved - and choose a time for the meal that will fit their needs - young children may get too tired if you wait to sit down at 1:00 pm. Consider seating for children based on ages. Teenagers might enjoy the day more seated together.

o Ask guests to identify their favorite dish - include as many of them as possible. (If someone wants a pecan pie, and you don't like to bake them, check out your local restaurant or bakery.) Don't assume you have to do everything - why not invite guests to bring a favorite dish? (Or ask them to bring a table centerpiece or bottle of wine.)

o Plan your menu well in advance, make a shopping list, and purchase non-perishables at the same time you do your regular shopping. If you're planning to use a fresh turkey, place your order early.

o Get out the table linens before Thanksgiving morning - make sure you have the sizes you need, and check to see if they need to be laundered, or ironed.

o Select table decorations. If you have children, involve them in the planning and execution of the celebration. (My children loved to make turkey cookies!) Consider disposable Thanksgiving napkins.

o To save clean-up time, or if the family china is insufficient to accommodate the guest list, attractive holiday disposable tableware is a viable option. Be sure you have enough serving dishes and utensils for the quantities you will be serving.

o If you're having a sit-down dinner, consider setting your table the day before to minimize last-minute stress. Make a checklist of things to be done on Thanksgiving day in order or priority.

o Determine your clean-up strategy prior to dinner. Do you want everyone to chip in and help - or would you prefer to spend the time with the family - and clean it up when they're gone?

o When the day is over, make notes about anything you wish you had done differently - file your notes away for next year, and give Thanksgiving for another special day.

� Barbara Hemphill is the author of Kiplinger's Taming the Paper Tiger at Work and Taming the Paper Tiger at Home and co-author of Love It or Lose It: Living Clutter-Free Forever. The mission of Hemphill Productivity Institute is to help individuals and organizations create and sustain a productive environment so they can accomplish their work and enjoy their lives. We do this by organizing space, information, and time. We can be reached at 800-427-0237 or at www.ProductiveEnvironment.com

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1/12/2010

Making Time to Write this Holiday Season

Making Time to Write this Holiday Season
By Danielle Hollister

As the countdown to Christmas day continues, most everyone is naturally all wrapped up in preparing for the big day (and the eve of the big day and the day after the big day...).

Whether it's shopping, baking, or hosting holiday gatherings, you are probably engaged in time-consuming activities related to the season.
Although your dedication to these tasks is completely reasonable and most likely pre-planned, your ability to meet these demands and still have to write may not be as realistic.

In order to maintain your sanity through the holidays, you should not allow your writing time to totally disappear. You may find yourself feeling somewhat stressed out, as you try to tackle the gift buying and deal with the family get-togethers.

I honestly believe that if you make time to write during this hectic season, you may alleviate some of the inevitable anxiety associated with the holidays. Writing can be as relaxing to writers as watching television is to couch potatoes.

You should not overlook the value of a little me time (or break/rest time for you alone). Schedule some me time or free time into your busy day, and then actually TAKE IT!

During this break period (however small it may be), you may find that it will help you to write about your worries and/or aggravations. You could accomplish this goal by:

Recording the events of your day into a diary of sorts before you go to sleep each night.
Writing random thoughts or jotting down brief notes as they come to mind through out your day.
Carrying a journal with you to family gatherings, shopping expeditions, holiday celebrations and related events and then use it to write whatever you feel like writing about at any given time.

(For example, you may observe something that inspires a story idea or you may want to record actual images, scenes or conversations that occur during these seasonal festivities.)

Making lists of things associated with the holidays that you either know a lot about or want to learn more about - which in turn could serve as possible article ideas for next year at this time.

Chronicle your feelings about your child as you watch him experience his first Christmas and then continue to do this each year until he no longer believes in Santa Claus (or until you no longer see the look in his eyes expressing the natural awe of the season that only children have).

Compile your account of these yearly events into a memoir for yourself and/or as a gift to share with your child when he gets older. You could also use your chronicle as a stepping stone for a possible book about Christmas, children, holidays etc...

Whatever you write about or however you choose to use your writing time, your primary goal will be achieved, if you just TAKE TIME to write during this busy season!

Best of luck to you and Happy Holidays to you and your families.

Resource Box - � Danielle Hollister (2004) is the Publisher of BellaOnline Quotations Zine - A free newsletter for quote lovers featuring more than 10,000 quotations in dozens of categories like - love, friendship, children, inspiration, success, wisdom, family, life, and many more. Read it online at - http://www.bellaonline.com/articles/art8364.asp

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